Bullying involves an initial desire to
hurt, this desire is expressed in action, someone is hurt, the action
is directed by a more powerful person or group, it is without justification,
it is typically repeated, and it is done so with evident enjoyment." Ken
Rigby ( 1998).
Description
School bullying is the psychological, emotional, social or physical
harassment of one student by another.
The most common form of bullying for both sexes is verbal eg
teasing, harassment and name-calling. It is also the most painful
type of bullying and has the longest lasting impact.
Other forms of bullying include extortion, threats, malicious
rumours, physical violence, damage to property.
Bullying includes behaviours that are verbal, physical, cyber
instigated or anti-social, such as exclusion, gossip and non-verbal
body language.
The nature and extent of bullying can vary from direct to indirect
harassment, from minor irritation to major assault, from "just
having a bit of fun" to breaking the law.
Cyber bullying is the latest form of bullying; often it can be
traced and blocked.
A student can be bullied by one child or by a group for years.
Bullying can happen sporadically or over a long period of time.
Some children are bullied wherever they go, at any school.
Bullying occurs in any school: small, large, single sex, co-educational,
traditional and progressive.
Bullying occurs in primary, secondary, boarding school and tertiary
institutions.
It occurs at school, in transit between school and home, at local
shopping centres, parties or parks.
The playground is the most common place for bullying to occur.
The majority of children have the potential to be bullies and/or
targets.
Both parents and teachers can bully or experience bullying within
the school community.
Most children believe that bullying cannot be stopped.
Most children say that they would feel happier and learn
better
if they felt safer at school.
Bullying is one of the major reasons children contact help lines.
Bullying is subjective
Targets:
The crucial feature is that the target feels
powerless. They regard themselves being bullied.
The critical issue is the extent of physical,
psychological and other damage that injures the victim.
The impact on the target is made worse by fear
of future attacks and fear adults won’t help.
Bullies:
Many bullies don't realiseat a conscious
level that their behaviours are mean or abusive.
At an unconscious level theyknow that
they’re taking the target's power away because otherwise
they couldn’t do it.
Most bullies don’t know that their bullying
behaviours can boomerang back later on and hurt them.
Gender stuff:
Both girls and boys can be bullies and victims.
Boys bully both boys and girls. Girls generally bully other girls.
Boys bully more openly and experience more physical bullying
and threats.
Girls can be physical, but prefer indirect methods such as verbal,
emotional and social bullying. This includes persistent teasing,
taunting, devaluing, isolation from the group and spreading malicious
rumours, all of which are less obvious to teachers.
Boys use bullying tactics to make a reputation and girls use
bullying tactics to protect their reputation
Statistics:
Most children have either been bullied, bully others or witnessed
bullying at school.
More than one in five children are bullied regularly at school.
Some are bullied occasionally.
About one in five children can bully.
In American schools, an estimated 160,000 children miss school
every day, due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students.
20% of students carry weapons to school to feel safer, 22% of students
are victimised at the beginning of the year and 8% are victimised
during the remainder of the year. 50% of students knew of a student
who had switched schools to feel safer.
40% of suicide victims had been bullied at school. ( Victorian
Coroner 2007)
National School Safety Centre, USA, estimates that 525,000 " attacks,
shakedowns and robberies" occur in an average month in public
secondary schools.
Two thirds of school shootings were conducted by
victims of bullying.
More than 50 % of teachers report being bullied at school ( BBC
TV 2006, NSW Teachers Union Study 2004)
The National Education Association USA reports that every day
6,250 teachers are threatened with bodily harm and 260 are actually
physically assaulted.
Some schools reduce bullying using effective anti-bullying
policies, programs and procedures. They constantly monitor
and evaluate them to improve.
Causes - There are many reasons why
school bullying occurs.
School and community –
Reflects the attitudes towards bullying in the wider community
eg on the sports field, in parliament,
Limited state legislation inadvertently condones school bullying
or limits funding programs,
Restricted funding reduces training for teachers and limits implementation
opportunities for schools to deal with it effectively.
Many school deny bullying and refuse to confront it,
Some schools pretend to care, show you their policy but don’t
actually implement or intervene effectively when kids report bullying.
They even allow staff to be bullied.
Many teachers are handicapped by a lack of support from senior
management at their school.
Most schools don’t actively involve or assist the families
who role model inappropriate behaviours to their children, influencing
them to become targets, bullies or both.
Most schools allow teachers or parents to bully or vice versa,
creating an inappropriate role model for their children. eg how
can a bullied teacher help a bullied child?
Most schools don’t place formal expectations upon the onlookers/peer-group/
witnesses to intervene, challenge, report or support both
targets and bullies. Evelyn believes that when the peers say, “Bullying is out” -
IT IS OUT.
Many schools adopt the latest fashion in reducing bullying
without considering an overall plan and evaluating it regularly,
or they use band-aid approaches.
Families
Bullies are bred in homes where inconsistent parenting
patterns and inconsistent consequences and abusive, bullying behaviours
become the role model. Some are spoilt children who never experience
any behaviour boundaries. Some come from homes where there are so
many problems that they are neglected emotionally or where the relationship
between their parents is poor, stressful and even abusive.
There are two main types of bullies, the malicious who
have been born with psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies (their
brains are wired differently to ordinary children eg they like hurting
animals)and those who are basically non-malicious
but use bullying behaviours.
They think:
It’s a game
I can get away with it
It will make me popular
They are so weak
It does not hurt
Everyone does it
The target:
Wrong place /wrong time
Does nothing
Reacts and becomes upset, angry, sad
Has poor social or assertive skills
Limited support network
Over protective parents
Not used to blocking mean kids
Special child
Don’t know how to stand up for themselves because they
live in caring environments
Experience severe life stressors, (eg parents difficulties, financial
problems) which interfere with their ability to develop social
resilience and protect themselves.
Some children believe in justice and fight back. ‘How dare
they tease me?’ ‘He started it.’
Sensitive children can expect others to treat them as
carefully as their families do. But other kids don’t care
how
they feel and take advantage the target’s vulnerabilities
to
play the bully game.
Some expect to be treated with respect and regard to their feelings
but have no interest in how they use, abuse or treat others. The
other child retaliates and bullies back.
Injuries or Damage
1. The target can be affected at school
Girls become sad and boys become mad.
The target can be injured emotionally, physically, academically
and socially.
They can lose motivation, concentration and their schoolwork
suffers.
This may affect their choice of career.
They experience poor self-esteem, physical health difficulties,
anxiety disorders, including panic attacks, depression, suicide
attempts (some are successful) and posttraumatic stress disorder.
Bullying can lead to shyness, social isolation or a social phobia.
Children who are victims of bullying may become school refusers.
The damage can affect targets of
school bullying later on.
The victim's choice of partner, career, social life, physical
and mental health can be affected over a long period of time.
Adults who were severely victimised at school can be less successful
in achieving satisfactory intimate relationships.
Some victims are bullied at work.
Damage to bully
Many bullies find it hard to cope with their studies in higher
grades; they are more likely to drop out of school earlier.
Once the peer group have developed a sense of identity they associate
with kids who respect equality in friendships. They abandon the
bully because they don’t want to be bossed or bullied and
be told what to do and say, what to wear, where to go or whom to
befriend.
Many students want a career and want to achieve at school, thus
the lazy bully can be forced to hang around other losers.
The bully’s future
According to Hara Estroff Marano, Psychology Today,
(1995) research has found that many bullies embark on a 'downwardly
spiralling course' for the rest of their lives because of their inability
to deal with conflict and violence.
Their bullying behaviours can interfere with their learning,
friendships, work, intimate relationships, income, physical and
mental health.
They are more likely to become anti-social as adults and have
difficulty creating close friendships.
Male bullies are more likely to batter and bash their wives,
abuse their children, abuse alcohol and drugs.
Female bullies tend to lose their friends.
Bully dropouts are likely to have a criminal record by the time
they are 24.
The bully who is successful in his career can be tripped up later
on, when the impact is greater.
They are more likely to create another generation of bullies.
Sadly, bullies end up being losers in a big way.
Society as a whole pays the price for their inability to
relate to others in an assertive, empathic, respectful manner.
They have a basic right to live a normal life, respected
(not feared) by others and able to maintain healthy, rewarding
relationships.
Parents
Feel powerless when they are unable to protect their children.
It can remind them of their own school difficulties or other
difficulties eg shyness.
Parents become very angry when schools don’t deal with
it immediately or can’t do enough.
It can be a very traumatic experience for parents.
Become threatened if their parenting patterns are challenged.
Don’t always want to be referred for help.
Peers
Feel bad and guilty because they don't know what to do.
Fear that they will become the next target.
Torn between their friends.
Realise that the target may exacerbate the situation but can’t
tell them or are not heard by the target.
Can’t confront the bullies.
Don’t want to be involved.
Can become a secondary victim or affected by poor class morale.
The school
Does not like students leaving, poor morale, reduced class motivation
to study, lower academic results, poor public relations, lowered
school results.
In many schools a few students leaving due to bullying can equate
to a teacher’s salary.
Schools have a legal and moral duty of care towards their students
and an obligation to reduce all forms of bullying around the school.
Parents are responsible for teaching their children social survival
skills or social resilience. Let's face it, when their child leaves
school for the day or for good, bullying is everywhere, on the
road, among their friends and at work!
All students need to develop their social and emotional resilience
by developing their social survival skills. Then they can create
true friendships, a supportive network and block teasing, bullying
and harassment.
The peer group needs to know how to take action to protect vulnerable
kids and intervene respectfully.
The target needs to learn how to communicate what they think,
feel and would like. They need to distinguish between friends who
care and those who don't. They need to look for true friends rather
than belong to a popular group. They need to use their survival
instinct to choose true friends and whom to avoid.
The bully needs to learn more effective ways of relating with
empathy. They also need to learn how to show frustration,
displeasure and disinterest in appropriate ways.