Find
out about Evelyn M. Field's book: "Bully Blocking, six secrets
to help children deal with teasing and bullying " (Finch 2007)
“The best cure for a bullied child is to acquire
life skills”
Many parents discover that their child is being bullied
(teased, excluded, physically harassed or cyber bullied) and don’t
know what to do how.
Evelyn Field says: ‘It’s important for
parents to regard this as an opportunity to help their child develop
resilience and acquire some valuable life skills. If acquired when
young, these social survival skills – which I call the ‘Secrets
of Relating’ – help children deal with bullying and teasing
now and in the future. ‘The reality is that in life we will
encounter some difficult or nasty people. Some consciously bully,
while others are oblivious to the impact of their bullying behaviours.
We need to teach our children how the bullying game works.
A range of simple skills, learnt early, allows a child
to block bullies no matter where they are encountered – as
well as to block his or her own bullying behaviours. ‘Often
parents want to blame the school – but schools only have limited
resources. In fact, even the best international school programs can
reduce the incidence of bullying by just 50%; in Australia it is
more like 15%. Legally and ethically, schools must make a reasonable
attempt to deal with bullying, but they are not able to eliminate
it.
“I show parents and their children how to discuss
the bullying and then help them learn the skills to block the bully.
Once a child decides not to make a bully happy, then she or he can
stop the bullying. I’ve worked with thousands of children over
the last thirty years, and I love that point where a vulnerable,
distressed child smiles because they realize they have the power
to block the bully.
My research in recent years has been into workplace
bullying – and I’ve seen clearly that the effects of
bullying on a target are pernicious and long-standing. I believe
that the school years are the time for a child to develop their resilience
and to learn these essential life skills. We know that if the child
is allowed to remain a target, he or she will take a sense of ‘victimhood’ into
their adult years and continue to be bullied by others – friends,
family members, spouses, colleagues and bosses.’ Learning social
survival skills is a vital and necessary life skill for any child.
As a parent, the most important thing you can do is
to read this book with your child. By constantly practising different
aspects of the model, children can improve their assertive, self-protective
skills.”
- The first part of ‘Bully Blocking’ helps parents
understand what happens when children are bullied, the bully game,
the causes and damage done.
- The next section deals with transforming the child’s attitudes,
skills for parents and options for schools.
- The third section introduces young readers to the six Secrets
of Relating.
(go to The Butterfly)
The Secrets of Relating
- Regulate your feelings- Secret 1
- Understand why you are bullied or a bully- Secret 2
- Build your self esteem –Secret 3
- Become a confident communicator- Secret 4
- Creating you own power pack- Secret 5
- Develop a support network " - Secret 6
‘Bully Blocking contains many imaginative suggestions
for parents and children on
how to cope with the problem of being victimised by their peers at
school.’
Ken Rigby, Adjunct Professor, University of South
Australia,
author of Bullying in Schools and What to Do about
It
‘Evelyn Field’s thoughtful and beautifully
written book is both timely and needed, providing young people and
their carers with a variety of skills, knowledge and strategies to
counter the problem of bullying and teasing. The illustrations and
activity pages ensure the user-friendliness of the book for young
people. Bully
Blocking is a “must read” for parents who want to give
their children the gift of a range of social and emotional competencies
to help them traverse the sometimes rocky terrain of the schoolyard
and beyond.’
Assoc Prof Michael Carr-Gregg, PhD MAPS,author of Surviving
Year 12 and co-author of Adolescence
‘Evelyn Field has drawn on her vast clinical experience
over many years of working with children, their families and teachers
to write a superb book about all aspects of bullying. Beginning with
descriptions of different types of bullying, Field goes on to list
the manifestations and consequences of bullying, and devotes the
rest of the book to information and practical exercises as to what
parents, teachers (and children, too) can do. It is written in a
style that is interesting, very practical and easy to read. Bully
Blocking is an invaluable resource for children, parents, teachers
and all professionals working with children who are aware of the
often-devastating consequences
of bullying that is allowed to go unchecked.’
Professor Frank OberklaidDirector, Centre for Community
Child Health,
Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne
‘Parents of today’s children see no place
for bullying. They also are seeking a strong partnership with schools
to ensure all children are happy and safe at school. In Bully Blocking,
Evelyn Field provides parents with a most practical and easy-to-read
road map into the future without bullying. Parents who unfold Evelyn’s
road map will find support and confidence to make that journey successful
for their children and their school communities.’
Duncan McInnes, Executive Officer,NSW Parents
Council Inc.
‘This is a book packed with practical ideas for
parents and children to use in understanding and addressing bullying.
Evelyn writes with confidence and clarity, and I like her light-hearted
presentation. Few of the books available on bullying target both
the parent and the child readership – Bully Blocking does.
It is easy to read, and the extensive information is presented in
an attractive format.’
Dr Valerie Besag, Consultant Educational
Psychologist,author of Understanding Girls’ Friendships,
Fights and Feuds:A practical approach to girls’ bullying.
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